August 6, 2025
Speaking Truth After Abuse – A Moment That Changed Everything
On the day I read this statement aloud in the courtroom, I wasn’t just speaking to a jury. I was speaking to the darkest chapter of my life. I was speaking to the version of me that once believed I had to stay quiet, that no one would believe me, or that I somehow deserved the pain. I was speaking to every survivor who has ever sat in fear — and every person who still does.
What you are about to read is the victim witness statement I delivered in court, in front of a jury, and directly to my abuser. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Not just because I had to confront the man who tormented and terrorized me for years — but because I had to stand tall while my body trembled, my voice cracked, and my mind tried to protect me from reliving the trauma. This wasn’t just a legal proceeding — it was a reclamation of my voice, my story, and my strength. The courtroom was silent as I read. Every word carried the weight of years of suffering, sleepless nights, panic attacks, and a never-ending state of hypervigilance. But each word was also a brick in the foundation of my healing. I share this now not for pity, but for purpose. Abuse thrives in silence. Shame festers in secrecy. And justice begins when we speak — even when our voices shake.
Here is my truth:
Fear. Fear is defined as an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. My ex-ABUSER is that fear. Since Dec 6, 2014, fear has manifested itself into my life. Fear has dictated where I go and when, what I wear, what I say, the reason I don’t or can’t sleep, and how I forge relationships. As I sit here in this courtroom today I can feel my body temperature rising, I can feel the shortness of breath I am trying to avoid. I can feel my hands beginning to shake, and I can feel the rapid response of my heart racing. This fear is from my ex-ABUSER.
The man that currently sits at the defense table. The man who has denied hitting, slapping, punching, choking, pushing, tripping, spitting, berating, lying and cheating on me. The man who claimed to love me and the same man who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. This man is the same man who I once looked to me with love and warmth and who I now look at as evil and sadness, fear and panic. The sight of him over this last year has caused me to pull off the side of the road to gather myself in order to keep driving. Not feeling safe in my own home knowing he has attempted to come on and into my property to get to me when unlawful for him to do so. This is a paralyzing fear nobody should ever have to handle or go through. I have altered my lifestyle, where I go, how I get there, and when. I am constantly looking over my shoulder in fear of him. As a result of this abuse, I am being treated for Acute PTSD and will likely suffer from a form of it for the rest of my life. While I am very strong, I am tired and I need some peace. My ex-ABUSER is a very dangerous person. He is a danger to this community - even if it is a community of one - ME. He should not be allowed to terrorize anyone else anymore. I respectfully ask this court and jury to incarcerate him based on the evidence presented and testimony given so that I can have peace and continue to heal from the destruction he created in my life. Thank you.
If you are reading this and carrying your own fear, I see you. You are not alone. Your story matters. And when you’re ready, your voice can be your power too. Know your worth. Have courage, and be kind. 💜